Baby On The Brain

I'm not one to vent my personal frustrations in public places, but I need to put my thoughts somewhere. And since it's nearly been a year from my last post, and it's my personal blog, and I'm sure not very many people read this anyway, I decided to write my thoughts here.

Scott and I have been trying for a second baby, and just like before, I cant get pregnant. We have been trying for over a year now, and I'm losing my patience. When we were trying for Peyton I didn't know if i could even have children and so we just kept trying and trying. And after two years we finally got our miracle. But this time it's different. I KNOW I can have children, but it's just not happening. I keep telling myself "It will happen", and "The lord has a plan for me and my family". But I can only tell myself that for so long before it sounds ridiculous.

This time around, my doctor has put me on two full pills of clomid. I was only on a pill and a half when I got pregnant with Peyton. it feels like my body has become immune to the fertility meds. But on the bright side I could possibly have twins!! It makes me nervous to even think about having twins, and it might not even happen, But I'll take what I can get. Part of me does wish for twins so that I won't have to go through this hell again.

I'm trying to stay positive through this whole thing, because I do believe that positive thoughts help. But I'm human and eventually the negative thoughts begin to seep into my heart and mind. That's another reason why I'm writing about this. If I can get all the negative thoughts out of my head I'll have more room for the positive.

My family has been a great help in staying positive. When i see my brother's two sons, who are four years apart, I see what great friends they are. Jack is such a good big brother and Ben wants to be just like Jack. Watching them play together makes me realize that even if my kids are more than a couple of years apart they can still be the best of friends and have so much fun together. Also, my family isn't pushy about us having more kids. They understand that it's difficult for us, and they are so supportive of us. And those who ask about us having a baby are truly concerned and want to be supportive. And honestly, talking about it is a huge help.

I want to thank all my family and friends. You are such a comfort to me and Scott. You have been such an amazing support system for us. We have felt your love and encouragement, and we know that the Lord has heard our prayers. I know that I have to be patient, and have faith in my Heavenly Father. I know He understands the frustrations that I'm having more than anyone else. And I know He loves me, and knows and wants what's best for me. We all have trials that we must endure, and I know there are others out there going through worse things than I am. But I know there is a reason for every heartache, and every tear shed. The Lord has a plan for us and if we just have faith in Him anything is possible. And He will provide a way.

Quick Post

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while! life's been busy and we've been without internet for a few months. So I'm posting from my parents house. Since my last post we've had a lot of fun times!! Back in August we took Peyton to the Morgan County Fair. He LOVED it! He had so much fun petting all the animals. I have pictures to post as soon as I have internet again. Peyton was a caterpillar for Halloween this year. He looked so cute! We went trick-or-treating out in the rain and Peyton had a blast! Even though me and my mom were freezing!! Scott turned 33 this year and we celebrated by leaving Peyton at my mom's overnight while Scott and I went to dinner and a movie. It was nice being able to sleep in the next morning. I'm excited for Thanksgiving this year but very nervous too. Why, you asked. Because Thanksgiving is at MY HOUSE!! It's my first time cooking a turkey too! Keep your fingers crossed that everything will go smoothly. Prayers won't hurt either! I think I'm going to be praying until that turkey comes out of the oven and is cooked perfectly! I'll take pictures and let you know how it goes! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Bear Lake 2

More Pictures!!! Peyton had so much faun playing in the sand! He tried to eat it a couple of times, but found out he didn't like it very much! Neither did mommy!

What a dirty boy!! In the next picture you'll find out why!

We got the biggest laugh out of him! He does this at home on the carpet! I never thought he'd do it in the dirt!

This was on the way home. We wore him out good!!!

Bear Lake

We had such a great time at Bear Lake this year!!! It was fun hanging out with family at the beach and at camp! I look forward to this trip every year! Especially now that Peyton is old enough to enjoy it! We could hardly keep him out of the water!!! Here's some pictures of our vacation! Here's Peyton eating a cheese ball!!!

Peyton sitting like a big boy in his chair, chewing on some licorice!!

This was Peyton and Emery Haws playing with the tires of the cars!!! Their arms were black up to their elbows! Good thing we were near water to clean them off!

And this is my Beach Bum/Biker Stud!!!!! Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen!!!

Awwwwww!! I have the best husband in the world! Scott and Peyton had so much fun together! They are the best buds!!

What a STUD!!!

Summer Happenings

Well, this year has gone by super fast!! I guess I should start from where I left off. The remodel is finished!! We finished it around the first part of April, and we love it!! I would post pictures but I can't find our computer USB for the camera. So as soon as I find it I'll post pictures. About a week after we finished the remodel Scott and I went to California to go to The Price Is Right for our five year anniversary! We had a blast and Drew Carey is the nicest guy! We also hung out around Hollywood Blvd, and at The Grove and Farmers Market! The Grove was my favorite place. It's a lot like The Gateway. We also visited Scott's sister Julie who lives in Las Vegas. While we were away Peyton got to spend the week at grandma and grandpa Done's! I know he had fun and I hope my parents enjoyed having him with them. May was a pretty quiet month. Not too much happened except I was getting sick and tired of all the dumpy weather!! At the end of May though, my sister-in-law Ruth had her third baby! A girl, who they named Lillian Grace! She is such a cutie! She looks like her older brothers, except for the bow on her head! We also found out my other sister-in-law Sarah is pregnant with another girl, and is due in November! The end of June we went to Calf Creek with Scott's family. Jordan got to ride down with us, which turned out to be really nice because he kept Peyton entertained for the long ride down. We went on a six mile hike which nearly killed us, but it was a lot of fun. Peyton loved camping! There was a bridge next to our campsite and we couldn't keep him off of it!! We also spent our afternoons playing in the creek. The water was freezing but it didn't seem to bother Peyton one bit! For the fourth of July we went swimming at Cherry Hill with Jed, Heidi, and Maddie. And Brooke and our cousin Monica came too. It was a really nice day for swimming. We then went to my mom and dad's for a BBQ. Brendan and Ruth came with their kids, and my aunt Jeanette came with her son Matt, his wife Sharee and their kids! It was fun just to hang out, talk and eat some good food! And of course the fireworks are always amazing!! In Oakley we get to watch four nights of fireworks because of the rodeo. And I can see them from my house which is really nice!! July is my favorite month of the year! There's BBQ's, swimming, family vacations, two holidays with parades and fireworks! And I get to spend a lot of time with all of my family! Next week we're headed off to Bear Lake for a few days, so I promise to find my USB cord for my camera, so I can post all my pictures!